Category: Let's talk
the other day we overheard a mother say to her little darling,"stop that or I'll get the man and he'll throw you off the train" I thought that's a bit harsh as we must have been doing around 60mph at the time...we have never seen the point of blackmailing children,for the simple reason that once they learn it's all a lie, your up a creek without a paddle...
oh oh sooooo the parenting expert now aren't we hmmmm?? Well if you have never seen the point of blackmailing the little darlings then you obviously don't have any!
Yeah, Goblin, I do think that's harsh to say that to a kid. Not only will they know not to take you seriously (which I hope the parent wouldn't seriously plan to do), but the child might even remember it. For instance, I when my nephew was younger, I was already upset at something and got annoyed at something and hit my nephew once with my shoe (litterally once in that I tossed it at him and it happened to hit him). Anyway, he still remembers it after 3 or more years (he's 9). )I feel bad for that and did appologize for it by the way and am glad we're still close.)
Leilani
Ohh they remember it and cast it up to you at a later date,then you are on a slippery slope to complete exasperation....smile
there's nothing like a child to embarrassment you, when your trying to come across as the consumate parent..and I smashed my cousin's kaleidescope when she was teasing me about the colours, Mahrai sulked for several months,which I milked to the max..smile
Also The Man is a traditional bogey man,used by desperate parents to scare children into behaving..1,000's of children have quickly realised and enjoyed, their parent's panic, when the man fails to materialise..
I think that whatever you threaten your child with, it has to be something you can follow through. Children do have to learn that behaviors have consequences, but by threatening with things that just aren't going to happen, they eventually learn to not take you seriously. It's better to say, "if you do that, then we won't have dessert tonight", or "I'll take away a certain toy", and if they continue to do what you've asked them not to, then you have to follow through on that threat... i speak from personal experience.
i agree with claire on this one.
I have to agree with Sugarbaby, you should only threaten your kids with punnishments you can carry out,. In the situation that parent found themselves in, I would tell my kids that I won't allow them to go down town or anywhere with me for a week if they behave badly, or even more than that, next time hopefully they'd behave better but if they didn't, I just wouldn't take them anywhere until I was sure they would behave when with me in public.
Then again when parents do go through with blackmailing as it were, then too can be found those without a paddle going up the creek (I had a dad that would have said it a bit harsher... "up sh*t creek without a paddle") Anyhow, the point.. and right now I am thinking of young teenagers, say 13-15 years of age and yes it is not an actual train, rather Life that is being traveled on at say full speed. The parents say, to the effect if you do not do or continue to do (fill in the blank) then I will throw you out. Its tough seeing the “throw away kids” especially when they start to get their life together and only a cold shoulder they receive from what was once home and never are welcomed back. My heart pains for the Street Kids and the dangers they face daily and more so nightly. Connie
oh yes, agree Goblin, absolutely pointless that is! .. some parents have no idea what good communication is in relation to good upbringing of a child!
Absolutely since becoming a father I've noticed a complete lack of respect from some parents, they seem to assume the child wont understand a threat isn't real and use their innocence as an excuse to lie...
Imagine being 5 and hearing your mother say "there's a man on a train who'll toss you out the window if you don't behave" when previously these same parents, had been trying to keep the curious boy away from the damned track, incase he fell and was hit by a train! talk about clueless..